Rants

It pains me to have to do this, because I have always loved Hardees as a restaurant. It was my opinion before that a Hardees meal was every bit as good as a Five Guys meal, at around half the cost. Sadly, I cannot make this recommendation any more.

Why? What happened to taint my experience so badly against Hardees? Here’s my story.

Last night (September 7, 2011) my girlfriend didn’t want to eat at home for some reason. After a little while of debating over where to eat, I had an idea: Hardees! We love(d) Hardees, and it had been a while since we had been, since we live in Daytona Beach, and would have to drive to the far end of Port Orange to get there (not a terribly long drive, but very much so for fast food).

After getting caught up in a long conversation with a neighbor on our way out, we begin our journey, one filled with peril as apparently every driver on the road at this time was apparently suicidal.

About a half hour later, we arrive at our destination, now starving. My girlfriend orders a 1/4 lb burger with chili cheese fries, and a shake. I order a Frisco burger without tomatoes (because I love those sourdough buns) with fries and a drink.

We sit at our table, with our order number sign neatly placed on the corner as we wait. It takes about 10 minutes, but we finally get our food. The first thing I notice is the tomatoes on my burger, when I had clearly asked for none. I am not one to just pick them off myself, because then I have to get all messy disassembling a burger that should have been made right the first time. I catch the employee who delivered the food before he even makes it back to the counter. The employee at the counter who took our order looks and sounds agitated, but apologizes and tells me he will bring a replacement out to me.

So now, here I am, starving, foodless, watching my girlfriend eat her food. That’s bad enough, just ending up out of sync with your meals when eating out with someone. I was already getting into a pretty bad mood from this. I took out my PV (Personal Vaporizer, aka electronic cigarette, an invention made for the purpose of “healthy” “smoking” and mainly being able to use it indoors where smoking is not allowed) and began to “vape” on it.

After about 5 minutes of using it, and several customers eyeing it and smiling, as is the usual routine because it is still so new to many people, the “agitated” employee approached me to tell me that smoking is not allowed in the store. I kindly explain to him that I am not smoking, it is a water vaporizer, etc. He just stood there and looked at me like he was dumbfounded. He then told me that it was corporate policy not to allow use of these in the restaurant. That’s not a policy I’ve ever heard of, since I’ve used it in hundreds of establishments without issue, including several times in previous visits to Hardees. If this truly IS a company policy of Hardees, would someone please link me to a legitimate place proving it?

That was strike two. Mess up my order and then deny me the thing that calms me down? Not a very good idea. Regardless, rather than argue the point, I just complied, because I don’t want to be rude.

Another 5 minutes go by, and my food, now tomato free, is delivered. At this point I am pretty angry, but too hungry to care, I just want to enjoy my food and go home. I notice that this burger has what appeared to be buttered, untoasted sourdough bread for a bun. My previous bun was toasted, and this confused me. “Whatever” I thought, I can’t wait ANOTHER ten minutes for them to get it right, I am too hungry.

I bite into the burger… only to discover that I cannot physically bite into the burger.

This was the hardest, most stale thing I had ever tasted, and the bread tasted like expired buttermilk.

I tried to bite into it again, as hard as I can, just to see if maybe it was just that edge that was bad. I got a mouthful of meat that tasted like Styrofoam.

At this point, I am furious. I’m done, over it, I want my money back. I take the food back to the counter yet again, and the employee is clearly very angry at this point, as am I. He went to take it into the back to replace it again, when I told him I just wanted a refund. He hands me back cash instead of putting the money back on the credit card we paid with (seriously?).

I am now fed up, and begin filling out a comment card, because this has been the second most horrifying eating out adventure ever.

That’s when my girlfriend reaches the bottom of her chili cheese fries, and discovers the short, curly black hairs.

Seriously? What the F**K?!?!?

AGAIN, I go back to the front counter, this time with pubic-hair-laced chili cheese fries, and the employee at the front counter just looks even more agitated than before, and just looks at the black guy in the back of the kitchen angrily, then says “Let me guess, you want a refund for these too?”

You’re damn right I want a refund for this too.

And to top things off?

My girlfriend had food poisoning from it, and was up all night in the bathroom until about 1:30am.

The only time I have ever received worse treatment in a business establishment was Taco Bell, and they have been on my “Never again” list for years. (The manager there cursed me out for returning my food because the order was wrong… I had ordered soft tacos and got hard tacos, with none of the ingredients I had requested. According to the manager I was supposed to just “suck it up”)

I did turn in my comment card to Hardees, and I also emailed them on their web site this morning, because I know the employees there will likely toss out my comment card so they don’t look bad.

I had always regarded Hardees as one of my favorite restaurants, but this experience has been so bad, and so disgusting, I can never go back, ever. There is nothing they can do to win me back as a customer at this point. I do, however, want to know what they are going to do to satisfy my anger from being treated like this.

Update: 9/10/11

I received a phone call from the district manager, apologizing profusely for our experience. He wants to make it up to us, and is sending us coupons for free meals so we’ll give Hardees one more chance. He assures me this kind of thing will never happen again.

He also informed me that he has never heard of a policy regarding the banning of electronic cigarettes in their restaurants.